Wednesday, May 18, 2011

All Dogs Go To Heaven

Besides Cofi, there is another dog in our house. Bubu is a mixed pit bull and is infamous in our neighborhood for his desires in fighting and biting dogs.

A few weeks ago he went from a strong dog to a very thinned-to-its-bones dog. Since he has just recovered from heart worm, no one really take notice of the shedding pounds. A week earlier, we bought him to the vet and he was diagnosed with fatal liver cancers. We were all shocked.

Though the vet recommended us to put him to sleep because he could no longer performs his normal activities properly such as eating, drinking or pooping, we could not do it and decided to just bring him home. For us, Bubu has been with us for the last 12 years. And Chinese always believes that when a soul would leave a body, the best place to ascend to heaven is from the house which he/she has been living in.

Initially when Bubu came back, he got better and began to eat and drink normally, though lack the energy to even stand up. We were happy. But after that his condition began to deteriot  and he was suffering. Due to our selfishness to keep him alive, he had to suffer. He could no longer control his poops or pees and he could not eat and drink anymore.

At the end, mum and I knew that we could no longer be so selfish and decided that it is time to put him to sleep. It was supposed to be today.

This morning however Bubu decided that he would want to leave us at his own pace. He left us some time midnight yesterday. To be honest, i was relieved for him. I think finally he no longer need to suffers anymore. I no longer is as emotional as when i first knew about his cancer.

Yesterday was Wesak Day. It was the birthday of the Buddha. Yesterday night before mum went to bed, she told Bubu that it was his time to go to heaven and asked him no to wake up anymore. She said that she also did talk to Jesus to take Bubu to heaven.

I am not a Buddhist or Christian. But for this instant, i would want to believe that either Buddha or Jesus has taken Bubu together with them when they went back to heaven yesterday. I want to believe that Bubu is now at a happy state, sitting beside either of them.

I believe that Bubu is in heaven because Disney once told me that all dogs go to heaven.


Dear Bubu, thanks for being with us and protecting us for the past 12 years. Though you were very mischievous and notorious for your liking in attacking neighbours' dogs, though you have cost us more than an arm and a leg all these year, we are glad to have you with us and you will always be missed. Love you forever. Hope you are resting in peace and that heaven is full of all the food you loved.

Sunday, May 8, 2011

被吞没的幸福

曾经, 有人对我说, 他想一口气地把我吞进肚子里, 那样我便会一辈子属于他。 也因为只有那样, 他才能真正地让我知道他对我的爱有多深。

当时的我真的不理解那种感觉, 更别说能接受“想把我吃进肚子里”的想法。年轻的我听到了只觉得这还挺可怕!

然而,如今我终于明白那是一种什么样的想法, 那是一种如何深的爱。

坦白说,我也觉得我对我狗狗的爱已经过分的溺爱。对于狗狗,我已把她当成我的小孩般地去溺爱。看着她,虽然她以经趟在我身旁,我依然有一种“失去”的感觉。而那种感觉唯一能被填补的方法也只有是把狗狗吞进肚子里。感觉就好像只有把她吞了,我才能100%地拥有她。只有那样我才能好好的保护,爱着她。也只有这样我才不会失去她。

怎么看,这种痴情与爱也还是挺可怕。幸好我还不到为爱而犯罪的心态。也还好我的溺爱也只限于对我的狗狗。



但回想曾近有人对我痴爱与溺爱到想把我吞进肚子里的程度,这也让我觉得很骄傲。必竟那是一份100%狂热以及望我的爱呀!而这份爱的特别之处,并非产生与对方曾给予你的付出或能回馈与你的爱, 这份狂热的爱是在你不发觉的情况下,悄悄的滋生并蔓延, 并没有道理及原因。而当你反觉时,那份爱已边的一发不可收拾。

原来,一生中能过分的被溺爱,是一种幸福。

原来,用华语写微博,也只有笨蛋才会做的至我折磨方法!*擦汗, 还真辛苦*