被吞没的幸福

曾经， 有人对我说， 他想一口气地把我吞进肚子里， 那样我便会一辈子属于他。 也因为只有那样， 他才能真正地让我知道他对我的爱有多深。

当时的我真的不理解那种感觉， 更别说能接受“想把我吃进肚子里”的想法。年轻的我听到了只觉得这还挺可怕！

然而，如今我终于明白那是一种什么样的想法， 那是一种如何深的爱。

坦白说，我也觉得我对我狗狗的爱已经过分的溺爱。对于狗狗，我已把她当成我的小孩般地去溺爱。看着她，虽然她以经趟在我身旁，我依然有一种“失去”的感觉。而那种感觉唯一能被填补的方法也只有是把狗狗吞进肚子里。感觉就好像只有把她吞了，我才能100％地拥有她。只有那样我才能好好的保护，爱着她。也只有这样我才不会失去她。

怎么看，这种痴情与爱也还是挺可怕。幸好我还不到为爱而犯罪的心态。也还好我的溺爱也只限于对我的狗狗。

但回想曾近有人对我痴爱与溺爱到想把我吞进肚子里的程度，这也让我觉得很骄傲。必竟那是一份100%狂热以及望我的爱呀！而这份爱的特别之处，并非产生与对方曾给予你的付出或能回馈与你的爱， 这份狂热的爱是在你不发觉的情况下，悄悄的滋生并蔓延， 并没有道理及原因。而当你反觉时，那份爱已边的一发不可收拾。

原来，一生中能过分的被溺爱，是一种幸福。

原来，用华语写微博，也只有笨蛋才会做的至我折磨方法！＊擦汗， 还真辛苦＊

Reasons for Skipping Blogging

Not going to lie, hasn't been blogging since i came back from Dubai and the reasons that keep me from blogging are????

- still fighting my fatigues from the Dubai Trip, i guess i am getting old!

- been sleeping more than 12 hours ever since and i even went to bed early!

- been suffering from lightheadedness, i think i am low in sugar and need to take in more chocolates.

- dad is here

- dad is requesting feast with his colleagues and the cookings and cleaning begins

- not really in the mood because i am tired (oops, had i mentioned that already?)

- lazy

- lazy

- and just plain lazy!

There, i blogged!

Greed

Was out with KC yesterday afternoon when a conversation between up makes me ponder.

I was looking at my skin when i casually mentioned that my skin looks different compared to last time.

KC then casually replied that that is normal. Everyone gets old and it will be reflected on our skin. He then jokingly asked if i wanted to have skin of an 18 years old?

Of course i do! Who doesnt?

Then he commented saying how funny and irony humans are. We wanted so much to grow up when we were younger but wanted to go back in time when we really are older. Wost still, we want a mature brain of a 30 year old but a body of an 18 year old.

Such greed in us. No wonder the beauty and cosmetic industries are blooming every year.

And then he mentioned that actually all we really wanted is to go back to the time when our minds were still clear and pure. Where things are always black or white. Where things are just as simple as ABC.

When You Wish Upon A Star....

Remember the familiar tune from Disney?

"When you wish upon a star, and no matter where you are, when you wish upon a star you wish comes true..."

I bet we all had our wish when we were little. Whether is about the cute guy sitting across you in your class to speak to you, or maybe a birthday gift, or even getting flying colors for your exam...

And i bet out of all these wishes, we as Malaysian must have had wished for snows, autumnsand winters in the country when we were younger. We dreamt of waking up seeing snow flying around in the air and that we have a chance to ski or just wearing some nice winter fashions.

I guess we all dreamt and wished that when we were younger because it seems like a fantasy, because we didnt know about the consequences that will fall upon us if that happened, because we were not that aware and did not understand about science and the environment. Because we were young and naive.

Why am i rattling about all these? Because i had a panic attack few days ago right before bed time. The reason? Well i was watching Cnn and Al Jazeera news. The news were filled with man made disasters from the oil spills in Gulf and China to the wars in Afghanistan and weather disasters from around the globe. While the Europeans are suffering from the scorching sun and the unbearable heats, Asia continents such as Thailand and China are having storms. Weather has became so extreme and weird that they do not look logical anymore! And that panicked me.

Sometimes i tried to console myself by telling myself that the world's weather has been so for thousand of years. The only reason it look so frequent now is because with the latest technology we have, we are able to communicate more efficiently now than ever. Hence we are able to see how the world is doing compared to our ancestors.

I am not really a firm believer in end of the world. I guess everyone will die, sooner or later. So that is no point fearing about dying in the coming future when you should just live your life to your fullest everyday, make sure that you have no regrets in the future. But when you are overwhelmed by all the disasters and bad news for more than 30 minutes a day, they will get into your head and you will panic, just like me.

That is why i mentioned earlier, a girl could only watch and read heavy stuff for that long and then must be fill by gossips, fashions, blings blings and cosmetic for her to be less bitchy..

So be careful of what you wished upon a star or you might regret it later... haha

Belgium Goodies

Kc is back finally and my days are not just confided to talking to a dog. Finally there is a human in the house who will reply to me and speak human! Hahaha

Anyways i was anticipating for his return because i knew there will be goodies! I have asked him to buy me plenty of magazines. The last one i read was 3 months ago and i cant wait to read something other than Business Week, Times or even National Geography. I mean a girl is a girl and no matter how we will always long for some light articles or just gossips to fill our brain. If without these what are we gonna gossip about with our friends right???

And finally he is back! Goodies and pics of them!

Ok KC got his new sunny and an uncle hat (ahem).

Of course how can he not buy back chocolates from Belgium??

Yum yum!

There goes a piece that cost him 1 euro!

And i got a prize doggie! Made of choco i hope??Hehe

Love this most!!!

And i kept waiting for him to pull out my magazines! But he turned and told me "Sorry ah, not enough time, no magazines. You go online and read ok!" What!!!!!! I guess the only thing i got to read apart from those serious magazine is this.....Sigh...

Choco Info!

+_+!!!!!

Markings

I cant believe it. I have been playing games in FB non-stop for the passed 2 months. And i have evidence to prove how free i was! I have spent so much time decorating my cefe, KC's cafe and even Jess's cafe.

How pathetic!

Just look at Kc's cafe. From the simple layout i actually spent so much time to decorate for him until now it is sectionalized into different themes.

Before

After

And then one day i got so bored that i agreed to help Jess to decorate her cafe also. I mean how more pathetic could i be? Well she wanted love versus alien theme. So i fulfilled my client's wish piously.

Before

After

But the worst evidence ever to prove how bored and wasteful my time was on FB game is from my cafe. I actually climbed from level 6 to level 65 in almost 2 months. I am sure others will use more time to beat my record because they did not game "full-time" like me!

Before

After

Seriously! I ned to get a life!!!!!!!

Alone

After the dreadful feelings i had last week, right after i wrote the last post, i have a feud with KC. I lashed out my upsets and anger on him, telling him what had been troubling me all the time and things did get better. I just hope that things will only get better from now on and not back to square one again after awhile because honestly i do not know how much more disappointments i could bear.

Anyways I am alone in Algiers now. Well not really alone because i still have Cofi by my side now, although she doesnt really seems appreciative that i actually forgo a chance to travel to Belgium just to be by her side so that someone familiar is taking care of her, so that she will not be left alone in the house when the dark comes at night and so that she will not feel insecure without seeing me and KC for a whole week if i would have traveled with him together to Belgium.

Kc went to Belgium since yesterday over the weekend for some regional meeting. If only i could have gone together, i would be enjoying myself and taking plenty of pictures of Belgium now. Well i have had debated hard with myself on this before i decided to stay put for Cofi. Afterall i could not bring her here to accompany me only to abandon her alone in Algiers just because i want to enjoy myself with traveling. I cant be so selfish can i?

Well i told myself now is a good time for my solidarity because we do need time alone sometimes just to find ourselves again. I also tried hard to console myself that this disappointment will eventually be compensated with a bigger year end trip to London and maybe eventually a trip to Egypt.

And to make myself happier, i am already counting the days till i board the plane to go back to KL. Now let me count, how many days left?.....Hm... oh ya it is only 90 more days to go.

:) well time flies as we get older. In a  blink of eyes, i would be back in KL again.

All I Need Is Myself Only

I have been suffering from gastric for the passed few days and am still suffering from it as i am typing this.

While all these time i have been in pain and agony, i cant stop thinking that all i needed is myself only. While other couples might have the better half to take care of them when one falls sick, i ironically, can only depends on myself.

I have to cook for myself, take medicine by myself, wash up after cooking and even have to make the choco by myself.

All the time while i am doing all these thing myself, KC has been doing NOTHING but just gaming.

Of course i know today for once, i should not be mad at him because it is his birthday, but how difficult does it gets for him to just fetch me my medicine and perhaps, on his goodwill, make me a cup of hot chocolate?

While i told him i vomited because of gastric, all he did was to turn his head away from the monitor for a second, gave me a concern look and just ask, are you alright? and then when straight back to his game.

Yes, gaming is DEFINITELY more important than me.

If so, why do i need a partner in this world if all i needed is me and me only?

WTF!

Boxxy Issues

About a month ago, KC told me there will be some counterparts coming to Algiers from KL. I was excited! 

Straight away i planned in my mind what i need from KL and have been messaging my brother and asking him to pack. Whenever i thought of something, i messaged him to update. I was doing it so often that i actually find myself troublesome to deal with.

So thanks so much bro for helping me out. Thanks Michelle too because i am sure she was the one who got me the chillies i was craving so much.

So after waited for more than a month the boxes with my precious are here! When KC brought back the boxes, i am pretty sure my eyes were sparkling with anticipations and i was over the top. I was like the little kid who finally received her present after a long wait and begging.

So without further wasting my time, i began to unpack my goodies. Wee!!!

Finally, real spicy chillies all the way from KL.

Unfortunately the flight and the non-air tight containers took a toll on the chillies. 

Some are rotten....

And some are molded. 

And in desperation, i am currently airing them outside in the balcony and will be scooping these goodies for cooking as and when i need. Hm...maybe i should try planting them here. Afterall the weather is still kinda chilly even though it is already summer.

Besides these, i also got myself plenty of the stuff that could mummified me when i am gone! And guess what my dinner was on that night? Mi goreng or Shin Korean noodle? For sure is the spicy choice since i have been craving for it so long. Well it was an awesome dinner! Totally satisfying to my tongue and stomach.

I could just eat them and last myself 2 months before i ran out of them! 

Tell you these are irreplaceable! So yummy!

 And there were more surprises too. Someone was playing secret santa by sending us these. Apparently they were not from my brother or Michelle. So our guess the KL counterpart who helped us brought these. Well cant verify it yet because he has already gone back when we received the goodies.

Plenty of healthy herbs for soup. I love soups!

How could i forget the famous Ipoh white coffee sachets? Ahh... thanks secret santa!

Well thats all folks. Am gonna go eat my mi goreng now and enjoy my TVB movies... what a great way to live! haha

When the Ship Sailed Away..

Sometimes things do not work both ways, especially when it comes to friendship.

For some, friendship is everything to them. For some, it is something they like but can live without, and for some, friendship is just a word they learnt from the dictionary. I have stumbled and fell hard on this aspect which is hurting me a lot, even as i am writing this.

I have a friend who means a lot to me, especially after what we have been through all these years. But then suddenly, our friendship is merely nothing to my friend. As each time i reached out to my friend, i received nothing back but a plain cold shoulder, it is like pushing the knife deeper into my heart. As each time i courage up again and reach out to my friend again, i got more disappointed and it keeps me wondering what i really mean to my friend. Sometimes i feel that we would even be nicer to a stranger than what my friend is doing to me. At least we would say a superficial hi , bye or thank you when we were being spoken to. So much for friendship. So much.

If only i can stop caring so much, then i would have feel better.

If only.

Maxtography

I have contemplated a long time when i was asked if we should get a photographer to shoot for our wedding day. Let aside the costly price that we are talking about, i wasn't really into having a professional photographer taking the photos because i was not really a huge fans of wedding.

I know i know, it was supposed to me "MY"day. I was supposed to be the center of attention and i should do everything i could to capture the day. Well not me. For me, i thought having my brothers helping me to snap photos will be good enough. After all, the photos will be kept in one of the drawers eventually and what is the point of  spending on it when the photos will never see the lights again after the day itself? Besides, never really like taking photos because of the hassle of preparations - makeup, hairdo, posing and etc. Gosh!

Anyway, we went ahead to sign a photography session with Thomas whom was introduced by KC's friend because he wanted it. So Thomas came and spoke to us few days before the event and then there he was on the day itself. I should say i was quite pleased by his professionalism and his punctuality. So the day came and went and the photos was taken.

They were marvelous and i find myself totally not regretting on the decision of getting him to snap on the day for us. The photos were taken with so much efforts. The little details on things and the timeless expressions on us and our guests. And our photos appear on his website maxtography, it is like having a time capsule for us to reminisce those lovely moments anytime we like.

I love this photo the moment i saw it.

Besides that, with his professionalism and his talents, he was even interviewed by a magazine from Philippines. Some of his photos were taken and featured in the magazine. To my surprise, i saw us in the article. And this is a bonus to us. Not everyday you could see yourself appearing in a magazine let alone in another country?

His featured article in Framz magazine.

And i love this photo of the little girl. 

The other thing which i thought was way more priceless is how a one-off client/photographer relationship has blossom to the category of friend now.

Thanks Thomas. :)

p/s: would strongly recommend him to anyone who wants to have quality and real photos taken minus all the superficial elements.

Stealing

It's almost 3am and i am still awake because i refused to sleep and i am afraid that history will repeat itself again when i wake up later.

Yesterday when i woke up, the house was out of electricity and water. It was the second time for the month. The first time was when the Algeria utilities company decided to fix some wires and the funny thing is how the electricity and water cables are so closely linked together that they have to shut both down together.

Yesterday was different. The reason was because Toyota Algerie forgot to pay the utilities bill, and i wonder how many months behind. So i woke up and got back to a world when electricity was not invented. I ate my lunch, took a nap and it was only 5pm. From then on, i struggled to fill my time with reading. I should say i actually learnt a lot from reading the book titled "Imponderables". At least now i know why wines are named dry when it is just simply means less sweeten. And i know that blowing air into Cofi's ears is equivalent to the noise we all hate when the fingernails scratches on  boards and dogs hate that, and that the black dot within the white droppings by birds is the actual dumping whereas the white patches are actually birds' urine....

All the time when i was reading, i was hoping that the power will be up again. But it didnt. By the time the clock stroke 730pm, i was tired from reading, stressed by boredom and i just sat in the dark meddling with my iphone. Thank god for the games i downloaded previously.

Finally the power came back up by 8pm. I was rejoiced and the first thing i did was to turn on my tv and had the volume turned up. Then Kc came back and he told me that the power was only up in the evening because Toyota Algerie didnt managed to pay the bills today. So the owner of this building, having some friends working with the utility company, gave him a helping hand by secretly and illegally turning on the power for us. We are stealing electricity and water as i type! We are thieves!

Until Toyota Algerie pays the bills, i will be facing boredom again in the day (boo!!!) and we will be continuously stealing power from the country. Hush hush now.......

Pranking From A Far Away Land

Today started off just like a normal day until I managed to pull a prank on my friends from my far far away land in Algeria.

Well it all started when Marcia decided to set up a singing session for Jess to meet someone special. So we were anticipating for someone whom we have not met for a long time to show up for the singing session. To our surprise, he was no other than Thomas. That was really a surprise!

Thomas was my photographer for my big day and ever since then we used to tease Marcia about him. Every single time, she would just gave us a nasty look and said that they have not kept contact after the day. So it was really a surprise to see him showing up there with her! No contact huh??

Then Jess decided to live fed me using her Whatsapp application. And her phone was passed around the 3 of them to talk to me. And my role changed. From initially wanted to tease Jess, to teasing Marcia and then eventually "helping" Thomas out by announcing to the girls how great a guy he is! And at a point in time, me and Jess decided to form a team in teasing Thomas and Marcia.

Things got funnier after the singing session when they were at dinner. Marcia was pulling her "i-am-doing-this-for-Jess" role while Thomas was pulling a "i-dunno-what-u-all-are-talking-about' role. Jess on the other hand was doing a "i-see-the-attraction-between-you-two' role. And i was just the person who was adding salt to the issue and escalating the whole thing. Eventually they grew tired of the whole thing and left together. Now that is one HUGE mistake! The other mistake was Marcia used Jess's phone to snap pictures during the meal. So Jess made good used of the pictures by making things out of nothing at all. She made a  Love Blog!

Below are some screen shots of what she did with the pictures. And the responses were tremendous!!!

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Jess Goh Though I think I'd make a better Food Blog, but today's special menu, "Love Blog". A quote from Ms CC "Today's outing is like an announcement that these ppl are gonne be "HOT ITEMS", Congrats!!!!!

Food Blog vs Love Blog

4 new photos

2 hours ago · Comment ·  · Share

Cynthia Chen

hahahah wait till they see this! this is awesome! farney!

2 hours ago · 

Jess Goh

u like it? My masterpiece.... ^o^

about an hour ago

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Jess Goh Let's see, I've got a task here, but 1st of all, thanks TT for dinner ^_^ , Ms M I'm so happy for u!

2 hours ago · Comment · 

View all 27 comments

Cynthia Chen

ooooh both still dating ke??/ wha what a long long night for them both!

50 minutes ago · 

Jess Goh

haiz.... ok lah, I'm gonna give her "green white" back to her, it's w someone else, not TT wor

35 minutes ago

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Thomas Tam

I shd had taken your photo too Xp

29 minutes ago · Report

Cynthia Chen

can i just day the reason u din is because Miss M was taking all your attention? heheheheh

28 minutes ago · 

Jess Goh

:P tooooo late! wahahahaa.......

27 minutes ago · Report

Jess Goh

Cyn: BINGO!

27 minutes ago · Report

Thomas Tam

opps..i wasnt noticed she acting cute at that moment. I was eating my delicious meal too XP

26 minutes ago · Report

Cynthia Chen

now am i sensing something between u 2??? hahahah i love playing devil 's advocate!

25 minutes ago · 

Jess Goh

*quietly watching* ^_^

24 minutes ago · Report

Thomas Tam

hahaha..ok..I extremely tired liao..4 hours concert was not an easy task...good nite everyone :D

20 minutes ago · Report

Jess Goh

Lol, gdnite! Sweet Dreams ooohhhhh~~~~~ ^_^

17 minutes ago · Report

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Both me and Jess had such a good laugh! Thank goodness both Thomas and Marcia are cool with the whole prank thing. Luckily they were not mad. So sorry guys, it was a harmless prank really. Of course we also hope that we did not hinder the growth of anything interesting! hahaha *wink*

By the way i cant help but think that this is how karma is coming back to us. This time is Marcia's turn for spying on Jess earlier. Gulp...i guess my turn is soon??? Jess honey, how about giving me a second chance and forget about the whole thing? Please?