360 Degrees

It's funny how things can go a 360 degrees turn just in a split moment.

I met up with a friend over dinner today and what should be a great catching up session dinner turned sour over a conversation. I was frustrated because i was made to feel like begging for a favour, which that was not what i wanted from the start. And i hated that because all it needed to "stop" me from begging was just a simple no, yet i didnt get that "no" no matter how hard i tried. Instead, i was being dragged.

I wanted to let my friend know that it was ok to just say no because i understood the complications it involves. Yet my friend continued to drag the situation, giving me lots of excuses but not the simple answer of "no". Why?

It all started from from a request by my friend. I have thought it through and even asked my friend personally again if it was really a good idea and my friend gave me the thumbs up, telling me not to worry and all. So after listening that positive note from my friend, i say ok, lets do it. But what happened now really frustrated me. Instead of fulfilling the promised, my friend wanted to back off at the last moment, which is completely fine by me, all i need is just a simple "no i cant do it" and i will understand. Instead i am thrown with all the excuses and more excuses, all the time not willing to just say no and whenever i asked again, my friend made me felt like i was begging for the favour!

Things should be simple. Either black or white. Yes or no.

And this incident reminded me of an ex boyfriend of mine. When i knew that we were going no where, i was waiting for him to just call it off but all the time he was giving me excuses and more excuses. At the end, i had to call it off and because of this i despised him. Not because we broke up, just simply because he wasnt manly enough to take up the responsibility to end things. And when i asked him why some time later, he said that he did not want to be the "bad" person who dumped me. If i had asked for the broke up, it will then be me dumping him and he will owe me nothing.

For that, i despise him even more. Dare to start a relationship but do not dare to end thing? Yucks!