To Love Less Is To Regrets Later..

Yet another cold day today with wind blowing so strong that it is shaking the glass windows in the house, and the wind together with the holes on the glass shutter whistling charming sounds throughout the house.

Yesterday a dear friend told me to better stay less attached to Cofi. I totally understood what she was trying to protect me from.

I have took her in as my pet 5 years ago while she was still a puppy. Then gradually i see her more than a pet, more like a daughter to me. I cloth her, carefully bone out the chicken for her, making sure that she is often well taken care of. Spending money for her grooming, snacks and even took the trouble to fly her with me to Algeria. Of course this could all only happened when KC himself is a dog lover too. He was the one who introduced me the idea of having Cofi sleeping together with us on the bed, and seeing her more than a puppy, taking in her as part of the family.

But how could you love someone or something less just because you knew that it will all end in vain? We all knew that a dog's life will max out in 15 years. Do we choose to love our pets less in this case? Detached ourself simply because we were afraid of being hurt?

This is just like asking a mother not to love her ill child whole heartedly because the child will die sooner and younger than the mother. If we could detached and love the kid less, when the kid is gone, then we will be in less despair.

But looking back on what we have done and what we could do for the kid when she is gone, would we regret on what we have not done instead? If we could be less selfish in protecting ourselves but choose to make the best of everyday for the kid, even when she is gone and i am sure we would be sadden for maybe a long time, but eventually when we looked back at how we have loved the kid with all our heart, we would have no regrets but always a smile hanging on our face whenever we thought of the kid. Because we knew we had given our best and not wasted the one and only chance we had with the kid.

Same goes for Cofi. I am glad that she came into my life. I am glad that i was given a chance to be with her and the chance of loving her, and i know that she loves me back too, unconditionally. I would missed her terribly when she is gone. I might even not dare to take in another pet. I am sure i could not replace her with another pet too. Well that will be in the future, one day when the day comes.

Sometimes even thinking of the day will also makes me tears. Sometimes while she was asleep soundly, i would look at her carefully just to make sure that she was still breathing, or purposely poked her just to make sure that she is still alive. But until that day comes, i will still choose to love her with all my heart. I just do not want to have regrets in my life later.