Memory and Its Sneaky Business

Memory is a funny thing. They are never the same each time we think about them. Each time, something changes and is different. The first time that part of the memory came rushing into us, we could remembered everything clearly and sometimes, it is painful. Then gradually, each time when we reminisce these memories again, we began to filter and changed things. We filtered out the parts that make us tears with heartache and we replaced something over them. And that is when memories changed and it is when memories of bad events will eventually be remembered in a more serene manner. Only sweet moments were saved and kept. Just when i thought things were as calm and serene, my memory on things came sneaking in and reminded me of things that i want to forget and have already forgotten. And yesterday, just as i was lying in bed trying to sleep, my memories of things came sneaking into me. And then i felt asleep when reminiscing them..

• i remember how i share a joke with my colleague by calling him idiot but him accepting it as if it was the best compliment ever said to him..
• i remember how i used to steal chocolates from my mother and hid in an air-conned room guiltily tasting the sweetness in my mouth..
• i remember the lizard joke that could only be shared with you.....
• i remembered how we used to do house chores together... how i complaint of ironing.....
• how you knew what i wanted to eat even before i told you... but i do not remember how and when things went wrong... i do not remember if we both have cried... i do no remember the end at all....
• i remember how fun it was to fight with my buddy in the mini bus..
• i remember how i see something and was reminded of those people that used to be important to me..
• i remember the warmth of the bowl of porridge brought to me when i was ill..
• i remember how we used to sing songs in my room and dreamt of how our partners will be like..
• i remember how i cried in your arms when i was lost in love...
• i remember how a group of gals went Langkawi to have fun..

And then i realised i no longer remember things that used to be very important to me. i no longer remember those important dates that are suppose to be tightly linked to someone. i do not remember some of their full names even. i do not remember why i cried.. i do not remember how things went wrong.. i do not remember the ends for things... and then i fell asleep and woke up... only to be reminded that memories are sneaky, they came, stirred up a tsunami in you and then left quietly again... And no matter how far or fast we try to run away from them, they always come back to us sneakily. But then again, we could always choose what to remember and what to forget..