i reflected on what i have been through, where i am now, and what i want in the future. it is like i am searching for the purpose in life once over again. how is it that i do not have so much reflection when i was in the past few years? what have i been doing?
i think it was because i was so busy making sure that i survive in the real world than giving myself some me time once in a while to see where i was going and what i was doing. each day i woke up rushing to work, making sure that i have the money to survive my month, making time for family and friends, and then it was time for myself to rest. it was like a cycle going over and over again on a daily basis. before long, i begin to lost myself in doing what i did. sometimes on a bad day, when the stress came tumbling in, i felt that i was overloaded with everything and the only way out was to have a good crying session.
here in a foreign country, i find the luxury of time to sit by the window, gazing at the view of the sea and reflect my life. its like how back packers will go to some ruins and just sit on a rock and stare at the ruins for the whole day. this is how i feel and it feels good. it is like having a spiritual cleansing session.
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